Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
