u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
