Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
