it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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