My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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