I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
