Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
