what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The power of my boobs compel you
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
