So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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