with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
These tits shall not be calmed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
