coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
