i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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