I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
