So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
