Need sex. Gaining weight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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