Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
me + whiskey = a bad person
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize