well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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