There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
