you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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