Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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