yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
