Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
