So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
