yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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