My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
