i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I cut my penus on the lid.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
