Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
