I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize