i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
