He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
