It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
