Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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