If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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