Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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