you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
