i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
