you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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