We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
