just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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