I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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