Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
