how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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