Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
