Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
