We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
