my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
