i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Someone signed my nipple.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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