he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
