In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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