If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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