STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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