That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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