What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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