youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
