It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
