Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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