so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it was like eating out sand paper
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
