ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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