You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
