We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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