I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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