that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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