final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
