I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
