I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
