I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I need a beard to bite.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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