At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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