Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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