Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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