I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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